


The World Was Wide Enough

by Fangirlingmanaged



Series: Even More Angst Nobody Asked For (AKA Bonus Content) [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Natasha, Protective Sam, Steve Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, but we all know he does, he's not even in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlingmanaged/pseuds/Fangirlingmanaged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does the end justify the means? <br/>In this case, the end means everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The World Was Wide Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Raise your hand if you're Stony and Hamilton trash!

Natasha arrives in Wakanda a month after they have managed to get the rest of the New Avengers out of the Raft. Steve has not had time to worry about much going on outside of T’Challa’s kingdom since they’d managed to get out. Between dealing with Bucky’s recovery, and Wanda’s recovery, and Clint’s constant mood swings, well… it hadn’t been the best month of his life.

That’s without even bringing up _Steve’s_ own demons and emotional baggage. Truth be told he’d used the others as an excuse to keep himself busy and distracted. Start thinking about New York? Go back to Bucky’s cryo chamber and sit by him. Watch over his brother to make sure that he was really okay and that they were taking care of him. T’Challa’s trusted doctors were a godsend in their constant work with him. Start thinking about the Accords? Go out with Wanda or Clint, albeit under disguise, to check what Wakanda had to offer. Worse, still, start thinking about his-no, not _his_ , not anymore- Tony? Work harder, faster, cram his mind with as many things as he could.

He should have known better than to think that his coping mechanisms would actually last. His tremulous peace is shattered when he catches a flash of red hair walking towards the Secret Avengers’ quarters beside the king. She’s almost a foot shorter than he is, even in her heeled boots, but she still commands the attention of the whole room. T’Challa is perhaps more solemn faced than they have ever seen him. Steve’s heart begins to beat frantically in his chest. It feels as though he’s having one of  his old asthma attacks.

“Natasha,” the word doesn’t come from him. The rest of his friends are looking at her as if they can’t quite believe whether or not she is a mirage. Steve feels exactly the same way; is even more astonished when she looks back at T’Challa as if communicating something only the two of them were able to understand. The king gave her a subtle nod and then walked to stand at one side of the room, he leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. Clearly, this was some sort of Avengers business.

“Hello, Sam,” the spy said in a more subdued voice than they were used to.

She looked… healthy, Steve’s mother hen instinct decided. He glanced at her from head to toe, and he knew he wasn’t being subtle about it, but damn it he hadn’t seen her in months. Hadn’t been able to tell her what he really felt and thought for far longer than the time he had spent in Wakanda. Her hair was shorter, he decided, and she’d lost some of the comfort weight she’d put when they had lived together. _When you had a family_ , the angry voice in his head snarled at him. He tried to ignore it as best he could. Tasha was leaner, her muscles a bit more defined, but the biggest change was the way she looked at them. How her eyes flickered from one face to the other before going back to T’Challa to make sure he was still there.

Steve turned his head slightly to look at Clint, and the archer seemed to be transfixed on his partner. His eyes fiddled with the arrow he’d taken to carry with him as if to reassure himself to who he still was. Steve remembers that conversation. Clint had woken up in the middle of the night, and the Captain had found him sitting in the dark in their living room. He’d been drunk and chatty, which was a surprise to the older man. Clint was usually the definition of merry when he was a little buzzed, but that time he was despairing in his brutal honesty. He’d questioned _everything_ they’d done from start to finish. Whether or not they should have talked it out, whether or not Steve had known what he was doing, whether or not Bucky had been worth it… Perhaps the worse question was whether or not wrecking his relationship with Tasha had been worth it.

Looking them now, Steve has the answer he could not find when he’d talked Clint down from the metaphorical ledge and coerced him to bed. It’s the same answer that applies to _him_ after all. It was the answer he’d had since meeting with Ross.

No, it had not been worth it.

The silence is tense and the atmosphere is thick. Sam seems at a loss of what to say now, and it’s quite clear neither Clint nor Steve can find the words to greet their friend. Their _best_ friend. Wanda is curled in on herself, but her eyes roam over the other woman restlessly. Scott sits as unobtrusively as he can. T’Challa, thankfully, takes pity on them.

“Miss Romanov has some news to share with you all,” the king says in his authoritative rumble. He is the only one who seems at ease. Steve finds himself, as he has for the past month or so, envious of his control.

“What type of news?” Clint’s fist is closed around the shaft of his arrow so hard his knuckles have turned white.

“Laura is fine,” Natasha says. Steve doesn’t think it was meant as a comfort, with the way the archer shrinks back. It’s as though whatever rein she had on her temper breaks with the words. “Cooper joined the junior archery club from a program at school,” her words become more and more accusatory as she relays information. “Lila won the spelling bee at her school, she was so happy. She sent me a video, said I should show Daddy because she didn’t know where he was or when she would get to see him again.”

“Tash-“ Clint chokes out.

“Nate said his first word,” her voice wavers for the first time since she began her rant. Steve closes his eyes tightly and wills his ears to stop listening on the obvious sounds of distress from his friend.

“I think that’s—“Sam tries.

“It was Da,” Tasha gives a mirthless chuckle. “Laura said to tell you congratulations,” and though the words are clearly meant for Clint, Steve opens his eyes to meet her angry green gaze. “You won.”

“Is that all?” Steve and tries his best to sound as calm and collected as he does when he’s Captain America. When he _was_ Captain America.

“T’Challa has the official documents for each one of you,” Natasha ignores him as if he weren’t even in the room. She looks at everyone else, but when her eyes reach him they move right over. He feels the thing in his chest tighten painfully. “I am here as nothing more than a representative of the United Nations to inform you of your pardoning for what happened Leipzig, and later on in Siberia. Mr. Lang,” Scott’s head snaps up to attention. “I have permission to take you back States side so you may be back with your daughter, if that is what you want.”

Scott makes an aborted nod, before cocking his head to the side. “What about the—I mean, aren’t we criminals now?” his voice pitched up at the word.

“The Accords written by General Ross had been vetoed by a council of handpicked human rights advocates and officials,” T’Challa interceded. Steve knew he was trying to mediate an immediate conflict. It’s what Steve would have done, if he had still been a leader at all. “Stark Legal,” everyone’s eyes widened at the mention of the name. “Interceded in the behalf of the former Avengers, and the group now known as the New Avengers. They brought the case through court and provided information in regards to the moral caliber of every member of the team to exonerate you of any charges.”

“So, that’s it?” Clint asks incredulously. “They mess up, say ‘oops, our bad’ and everything goes back to how it used to be?”

“Exonerating you of terrorist activity claim was the second step in a plan already designed and put in place, Clint,” T’Challa responds calmly. Steve knows better, though, can see the defensive stance the king now has and the calculating look in his eyes. He’s more invested in this than he probably wants to be, and whatever information he and Natasha are privy to is important.

“A plan that was drafted and set in motion two days before Ross ever came to the Facility with his two-hundred pages of cloaked prejudice,” Natasha says. She has regained her calm, for the most part, but her arms are crossed tightly across her chest. “It was tweaked after Siberia, sure,” her eyes still don’t look at him, but the furrow in her brow gives her away. Steve hangs his head. “Step one became, not talking to you about giving the Accords a chance until Stark Legal dismantled it, but getting you out of the Raft without Ross suspecting outside involvement. So, we did that, we got you out. Second step was winning the UN’s favor again, which seeing as you were all in the terrorist list from the moment Colonel Rhodes was taken to the hospital,” Sam’s sharp intake of breath is loud in the silence of the room. “Was quite difficult to gain, but it was dealt with.”

“Miss Romanov,” T’Challa says quietly. Tasha’s hard gaze meets his calm one, and she juts out her chin in defiance. Whatever it is that she knows, she doesn’t deem them worthy enough to share it with. “Being one hundred percent truthful was part of our agreement, if I recall. Your… partner agreed on these terms.”

“And we both know he would have agreed to giving anything he had, at the moment,” she says sweetly. “But I don’t see how disclosing that sort of information to these people would benefit anybody.”

“I have gotten to know your group in the last month they have been under my protection, Miss Romanov, and while I have disagreed with many of their decisions I have come to know each and one of them as worthy individuals. I know that they would like to know what their freedom has cost.”

“And I know they wouldn’t care one way or another, King T’Challa,”she says. T’Challa might be wiser than his years, but Natasha is stubborn. She’s damn protective of those she loves, but betraying her trusts has consequences. Consequences that don’t go away in a few short days. “It’s all about the bottom line, in this, as you well know. Not about the end, but the means. So, bottom line is,” she turns her stony gaze on them. “You have all been pardoned and may return to the States if you wish. T’Challa will not be in contempt if you are suddenly seen strutting around Wakanda.”

“Dealt with how?” Wanda asks quietly. When the whole room turns to look at her, she shrinks back on herself for a moment, but then straightens up and meets Natasha’s green glare. “I would like to know. If what you say is true, I would like to know to whom I may owe my gratitude. I have spent far too long harboring anger for the people who hurt my brother and I. I would like to change that.”

Natasha’s smirk is not something Steve has ever seen aimed at any of them. T’Challa is already shaking his head, but he does nothing to stop the words that come out of the spy’s mouth. Steve thinks she has a right to say whatever it is that she must say.

“There was an attack at the New Avengers facility exactly three days after the events at the HYDRA Compound in Siberia,” she says brusquely. “It was done by a group of… superhuman people, unconfirmed mutants, who felt the same as you did about the Accords. They thought that cutting the head off the snake was the way to stop what they saw was to attack the Facility and get rid of the voice for the Sokovia Accords. Anybody would like to take a guess at who that is?”

“Tony,” and the pain in the voice is something they all share. It’s something Steve can’t even begin to articulate, and so is grateful for Sam for having voiced the name.

“Tony was living alone in the facility,” Natasha’s eyes don’t waver from. Steve’s cowardice is grateful for that. “Colonel Rhodes was staying at the hospital to begin rehabilitation in the hopes of restoring the mobility to his legs, as well as counseling to deal with the trauma. Vision had gone outside of the US for personal business, and so that left Tony alone in the facility trying to juggle his crumbling company and the plan he had redacted to fix the Accords. One minute he was in his office working on the evidence he had collected against Zemo and Ross, and the next FRIDAY was relaying a security breach. Long story short, the fight got out of hand and civilians were in the line of fire. The only barrier between _them_ and innocent lives were three remotely piloted suits and Iron Man himself. It drove the message home that people need a line of defense that the military and the government can no longer provide. Tony exposing Ross’s past with Dr. Banner and other illegal human experimentation didn’t hurt either. In the end, you were all pardoned even before the Accords were broken down and reshaped.”

“Which is where I interfered,” T’Challa pipes when they are all too stunned to respond. Steve feels as though the contents of his stomach will make a reappearance.

The guilt he’d felt since running after Bucky was making a comeback with a vengeance. Behind the despair and the fear making his eyes tear up and his head spin is the sudden gut-wrenching feeling of having completely and irrevocably wrecked the best thing that has ever happened to him. Behind everything is the feeling that he _should have known better_. He should have known better than to think Tasha would side with something that could hurt her family. Should have known better than to not trust Vision’s wisdom. _Should have known better than to not trust Tony_.

“Mister Stark understood from the beginning that becoming the mouthpiece for the Accords would eventually become a barrier between himself and the public,” T’Challa looks at every single one of them and the message is clear. _Between him, and you_ , he seems to say. “He understood that he would need someone with enough credibility to present the new Accords he’d begun the write since General Ross threatened to have his family imprisoned and perhaps executed under the original Sokovia Accords. That was the condition under which he worked, sign the accords or face the consequences which would have been worse than the stipulations within the document itself. To the best of my knowledge, he contacted Agent Romanov a day or so after to begin the Darwin Act which would not target every superhuman as a threat and to begin the gathering of proof to form a compelling legal case against General Ross. There was no way for him to access Ross’s files or to know his plans without doing one thing, though.”

“He signed them to help us,” Scott says. He’s the only one who has managed to not look like he’s been gutted. He has never met Tony; all he knows is the badmouthing the team has been given him and whatever trashy magazines and TV shows he’s had available.

“He signed them to gain time,” Tasha says. She’s looking out the window, now, as if she can’t bear to see them. “He knew he needed to distract Ross from his campaign to annihilate the team, so he signed them so that he could have an excuse to be involved.”

“That’s not the only reason,” T’Challa says evenly. He seems determined to make this meeting be one hundred percent honest. Steve doesn’t know if he should be grateful or not. “Mr. Stark signed the Sokovia Accords for the same reasons that my father did. He understood what it is like to be powerless to stop people that are as close to gods as we will ever see. Beneath the armor he nothing more than a regular human man who has spent the last decade trying to atone for his misdeeds. He has said that everything needs an off switch, and his Avengers were no exception.”

“So, what, he wants to shut us off when we don’t do what the government wants? We’re not convenient when we’re not following orders?” Steve wants to slap a hand over Clint’s mouth.

T’Challa doesn’t respond to Clint, and when Steve raises his head from where he’d been staring listlessly at his hands, he finds the king’s gaze on him. It’s as though the other man is trying to convey something without saying the words out loud. Steve feels like a kid caught in the disappointed gaze of a parent. _Think, Steve, why did he do it? why has he done anything lately? Why did he make Iron Man other than to escape? Why all the suits? Why Ultron and later Vision? Why?_ And the puzzle pieces lock into place. A horribly familiar picture right at the center of Steve’s mind. Late night conversations and videos watched that JARVIS never reported. Countless hours watching the engineer work himself to exhaustion. Screams echoing through hallways in the middle of the night. Talks with Wanda about what happened before she joined with them to fight Ultron. _His biggest fear is to watch the people he loves die, by his hand._

Destroying the weapons Obadiah had sold so they no longer killed innocent lives. Creating Iron Man to help rebuild what his weapons had destroyed. Taking the nuke through the wormhole. Working tirelessly on the arc reactor to provide clean energy to the world. Working with SHIELD because he believed their message even though he didn’t completely trust them. Creating and maintaining the Team’s gear. The suits that were meant to keep them safe. The vision behind Ultron. Everything the man had done for one purpose and one purpose only: to make up for what he considered his shortcomings. Everything he did to make the guilt churning in his belly from consuming him.

Everything he’d confided in Steve before the War, and which the soldier hadn’t given a second thought to because his self-righteousness told him he was in the right.

“The Jericho,” Sam’s voice fills the silence. The expression on his face is that of a man who’s had the rug pulled from under his feet. “It was all anyone would talk about. Stark coming back and shutting down weapons. He destroyed the Jericho becase—“

“Because it was hurting more people than it was helping,” it’s the first time Steve has said anything out loud and his voice is hoarse. “The Jericho. The Iron Man suit. The Mark Suits. The RT. _Every single thing_ to protect people.”

“The Accords were no different,” T’Challa says, and his voice now sounds tired. Defeated. “He wanted to make sure people were protected if a threat appeared again. He wanted a way to contain someone who went rogue and turned out to be more powerful than the average criminal.”

“He went after us, though,” Scott said quietly. “I mean, his team. Why? If something like that happened, wouldn’t he want the team there to help bring the threat down? Didn’t he think that nobody wants to have the threat of… of some sort of contingency plan against them? I mean, he basically said he’d bring all of us down if we stepped out of line.”

“Each suit has a way to shut it down,” Steve said miserable. _Carbonell-79-45-Independence-1920,_ Tony’s voice repeated in his mind. “He gave me a code. If I ever go rogue, Steve, he said, you got what it takes to make sure nobody gets hurt.”

“Goddamn it, Steve,” Sam says. Steve cards his fingers through his hair and tugs at the strands. The pain in his chest is unbearable.

“That was ultimately what Tony wanted out of the Accords, and it is something he will never get. They’re null,” all eyes snap to Tasha again. Her hard eyes are on Steve for the first time since she walked into the room. “Stark Legal managed to get the Sokovia Accords revised but the UN rejected to even see the Darwin Act when T’Challa presented it. The whole affair has been rejected. Ross got what was coming to him, and so did Zemo. Steps three and four wrapped up in a matter of days.”

“Then kept the matter of the last step to complete Mr. Stark’s plan,” said T’Challa, and he moved away from the door to get near Natasha. He stood behind her and to the left, and to Steve’s tactical mind that sealed the deal. He might have housed them when they were still fugitives, and the fact that they were technically free still didn’t register in Steve’s brain, but the king had clearly picked a side in this. Steve couldn’t even fault him for it.

“And that would be?” Clint asked quietly. His eyes still took in Tasha’s defensive stance, but the defiance had gone out of his eyes. Now he just looked defeated. Steve turned to look at Sam, and the other man looked the same. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, but his shoulders were slumped. Steve saw his own realization in his teammates, then. The feeling that they had done something that had seemed inevitable, but could have been avoided if only… if fucking only.

“Gaining one last pardon,” T’Challa said. Steve’s eyes locked on the king’s once again meets his gaze and he gets it. He _gets_ it with a clarity that had eluded him from the minute he saw Bucky under that overpass. Steve knows his world will finish crumbling even before the words leave the other man’s mouth. “Under something called the Carter Clause,” Sam’s quiet little _fuck_ barely registers in the Captain’s mind. “A wanted superhuman may present evidence to prove his innocence in front of the counsel, and gain his freedom if he is deemed innocent despite a warrant for their arrest. They may also be provided with the necessary aid to reinstate themselves in every day society.”

Steve opens his mouth, but Natasha’s spewing biting words in his direction. “This includes counseling to deal with trauma, a personal physician to deal with any injuries they may have sustained, as well as aid to get back on their feet thanks to the Maria Stark foundation,” with every thing she’d listed she’d gotten closer to Steve until she was right in front of him. Sitting down, they were almost the same height, but Steve still shrunk back on himself. She slapped something against his chest, something he hadn’t noticed she’d been carrying, but he grabbed at it in instinct. Looking down at it, a distressed noise broke out of his throat.

Numbers and schematics popped out at Steve in a familiar scrawl. Design plans and names that he didn’t recognize but had descriptions next to them. Mechanical engineers, neurologists, counselors, politicians, doctors… all under the heading of “Bucky Barnes Project” with a date months, _months_ , before Steve ever left Tony. Someone was shaking his shoulder, trying to take the papers out of his hands, but he couldn’t let them go. He couldn’t let them go the same way he couldn’t stop the shaking in his hands or the tears that burned his eyes.

_What did you fucking do?!_

“Congrats, Cap,” Tasha gave him her sickeningly sweet smile. “You were right all along, I guess.” She shook her head and turned to address the rest of the group assembled in their living quarters. “There’s a place for you at the New Avengers facility if you want it. After the most recent attack it is pretty damn obvious to everybody that they need you. I’ll be waiting for you there if you make your way to Upstate New York. That’s all I came here for.” She walked back towards T’Challa who managed to place a brief comforting hand on her shoulder, say something quietly to her to which she shook her head, and walked away.

“Steve,” it was the first time he has ever seen Sam pull rank on anybody. Meeting the man’s eyes he doesn’t see his friend, but the soldier who had seen and lost too much. _Just like you, like them, like_ him _,_ the angry voice in his head says. “Steve, _go_.”

“I-I can’t- I shouldn’t-“

“You have to!” Clint explodes from across the room. He’s on his feet, panting heavily, and his face is flushed. With anger or shame or whatever the fuck else they’re all feeling now. “It’s not about _you_ or _Bucky_ this time, man. It’s about him! It’s about everything he put on the line for _us_! He. Needs. Help. And there’s nobody in this room he’ll listen to more than you!”

“You have to go,” Wanda says quietly.

When Steve turns to look at T’Challa, he sees the king looking at him with a challenge in his eyes.

 _What will it be?_ The other man seems to ask. _The means or the end?_

**Author's Note:**

> this shit wrecked me...


End file.
